Assumptions UGH….

I think it is truly amazing how quick people are to lay blame on the woman when a couple splits up.  As if it were her duty to maintain the glue in a relationship.

So what if they argued a lot, maybe there’s a reason.  Maybe that woman held them together as long as she could but the the bitter resentment of adultery was something she could never get passed.

Maybe the verbal abuse, emotional neglect and emotional abuse was to great and ten years of dealing with it was too great.

What if he left her?

The point?  Behind closed doors you don’t know what happens.  You can only assume.  And for anyone who’s read my posts you know exactly how I feel about the word ASSUME!

Get a life and stay out of others affairs when it comes to the heart.  If they want your advice they will ask for your advice.  Don’t give unwarranted advice.  You could have it all wrong and in turn hurt them more than they Already are hurting.

You don’t know the cause, where it’s him or her so butt out unless seeked out!

Let them know your there that’s it!

Extra Frumpy with a side of Grumpy

Extra…super…stressed the frig out….seriously everything is grinding my nerves.  I’ve been trying to maintain my persona but it seems my facade is fading fast.  

My kids are pushing buttons with their snotty little attitudes because something doesn’t go their way.  Random people in traffic are suffering from the wrath of my horn.  Yoga isn’t working, it’s just making my body hurt.  Ive tried meditating….all I see is angry me breaking stuff.

I don’t know what’s going on with my head or why I’m stressing out so bad right now.  Is it because my kids constantly fight?  Isn’t that normal kid behavior?  Is it because they are always whining?  Don’t all kids do this?  So we’ve established normal children behavior, right?

So then what?  Is it money?  Maybe? But we just had a payday.  

Is it to much caffeine?  I had a whole pot yesterday…and a green tea latte for supper.  

I bet it is my caffeine intake…

What are the negative side affects of caffeine?

“The Mayo Clinic state that consuming more than 500-600 mg of caffeine a day may lead to insomnia, nervousness, restlessness, irritability, an upset stomach, a fast heartbeat and even muscle tremors. However, previous research has linked even moderate amounts of caffeine to negative health effects.”Oct 28, 2015

(Caffeine: how does it affect our health? – Medical News Today)

So basically I’m going to trial an error this shatty mood I’ve maintained for the last 3 days.  I’m going to try and cut back caffeine first.  It specifically says it can cause irritability.  I think I’m the poster child for that right now.

So below will be my guidelines:

“Up to 400 milligrams (mg) of caffeine a day appears to be safe for most healthy adults. That’s roughly the amount of caffeine in four cups of brewed coffee, 10 cans of cola or two “energy shot” drinks. Although caffeine use may be safe for adults, it’s not a good idea for children.”

(Caffeine: How much is too much? – Mayo Clinic)

Ideas for making up being grumpy with my kids?  Maybe movies, or movie night with popcorn and hot chocolate after school.  I could clean their rooms for them, but would that show them I’m sorry or show them they don’t have responsibilities.  I’m laughing at myself now…I’m making parenting to hard.  

I think ice cream will be a good “I’m sorry” for being frumpy, it is all on mommy.

Any ideas?  I’m open to them!

I don’t want my kids growing up thinking they done something wrong, because mommy gets stressed out.  My mom done that to my brother and I, her mom done it to her.  My mom was awesome, except when she put to much on her plate.  Then she was grumpy.  I don’t want to be that way.

So my checklist for today:

 4 cup of coffee

 Do something sweet for my kiddos

 Do something positive 

 Think in a more positive way
I think I can do these seemingly small tasks.  I will be sure to write about it if I have any issues arise.

Life is Hard

Life is hard.  Plan and simple.  It’s hard being married, it’s hard being a parent, it’s hard being an adult child with aging parents, everything about my life is hard.  

Why can’t it be easy?  Why can’t I have this post card feeling about my life?  It’s a daily struggle to deal with everything that goes on around me, I feel like I’m going to just shut down and never reboot.

My kids constantly argue, my husband gives me whiplash with his mood swings, my friends are constantly complaining about everything wrong in their lives, I worry obsessively over bills, and kids, my weight.  I’m not morbidly obese, but that is hereditary.  I guess you would say I’m average to a bit overweight.  I don’t know how.  I don’t eat fast food, I don’t drink caffeine (except coffee in mornings), I drink tons of water, and I eat a healthy diet.  I did start DDP Yoga yesterday to try and find some median of peace in exercising. 

I hear people talking about unwinding.  How the heck do you do that?  Honestly, I have no idea.  How?  Someone tell me how?  How do you live for the moment and not stress about tomorrow?  That’s my million dollar question.  I can sit here and be stressing over what I’m doing right now and be thinking about a hundred things for the next day which in turn causes me to have super high anxiety.  A viscous evil circle that seems to be never ending.

I don’t know how much more I can handle before I have a nervous breakdown.  Like, seriously….I’m broken.

HOW!?!?!?!

​How….
Look at the simplicity of that little word. 

HOW….H…O…W…

Three letters that stare out at you, taunting you, with expectations.  Expectations that you should know …. HOW!

Think about the use of the word and the scenarios that could be played out with it everyday.

How to pay a mortgage.

How to mow a lawn.

How do I get over the passing of a loved one?

How did I get past my divorce?

How so, you explained it wrong?

How do you look at me and not pay attention to what I say?

How did you make it this far in life?
Seriously, this is the most menacing word in the English language.  The implications alone are daunting.  Because you are just supposed to know….HOW.

I have people tell me all the time, move on don’t dwell. (I thought I had) You should apply yourself to something useful. (I thought I was)   

If I so obviously wasn’t doing these things then HOW do I do them?

If I’m such a big waste of space in life HOW do I become not a waste of space?

This isn’t where I wanted this paper to go, but it is what it is, sorry.

I think if people knew how much I do on a daily basis they would be more responsive, respectful, instead of simply assuming.  

You know what happens when you assume right?  You make an ASS out of U and ME….I think you should know HOW to read between the lines and put that together.