Life is hard.  Plan and simple.  It’s hard being married, it’s hard being a parent, it’s hard being an adult child with aging parents, everything about my life is hard.  

Why can’t it be easy?  Why can’t I have this post card feeling about my life?  It’s a daily struggle to deal with everything that goes on around me, I feel like I’m going to just shut down and never reboot.

My kids constantly argue, my husband gives me whiplash with his mood swings, my friends are constantly complaining about everything wrong in their lives, I worry obsessively over bills, and kids, my weight.  I’m not morbidly obese, but that is hereditary.  I guess you would say I’m average to a bit overweight.  I don’t know how.  I don’t eat fast food, I don’t drink caffeine (except coffee in mornings), I drink tons of water, and I eat a healthy diet.  I did start DDP Yoga yesterday to try and find some median of peace in exercising. 

I hear people talking about unwinding.  How the heck do you do that?  Honestly, I have no idea.  How?  Someone tell me how?  How do you live for the moment and not stress about tomorrow?  That’s my million dollar question.  I can sit here and be stressing over what I’m doing right now and be thinking about a hundred things for the next day which in turn causes me to have super high anxiety.  A viscous evil circle that seems to be never ending.

I don’t know how much more I can handle before I have a nervous breakdown.  Like, seriously….I’m broken.

Published by kifycarmai

So apparently I'm not as tech savvy as I thought....my wordpress has an about section that I either; A: forgot about or B: didn't know was here. Soooooo I'm going to fill in some gaps! I am a 35 year old woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister, etc all the typical roles apply. Whatever, I am by nature a very sarcastic individual mainly because of repression of emotions, not out of fear, but out of simplicity. I'm not going to get all "Sigmon Freud" about it, but that's how it seems to summarize itself. I have recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety, yay freaking me. I refuse to take medication because all of the medications have addictive properties....uh no fugging thank you. I do not want to be a drug addict mid life thanks doc. So what are my options? Counseling....seriously....I repress shat....I mean give me a fugging break...if I repress shat for 20 years do you think I'm just gonna open up to some strange man face to face? Hello NO! Anti-Depressents --- I think this falls into the---f**k medication category. Journaling....this is doable. A friend suggested blogging...they were like hey you should blog and save a tree, it's not like anyone reads that shat anyways. So here we are. On a blog site that was already created for shats and giggles. Now I'm actually going to use it. So I'm asking for forgiveness in advanced.....I will vent here, I will ramble here, I will seemingly talk to myself here, and if you stumble across my page...be gentle...I have a ton on my plate. Laters

3 thoughts on “Life is Hard”

  1. Down but not down and out, keep going. I first focused on changing small things. Like my vocabulary, I reduce the amount of negative things I say. Tiny steps. There are plenty of good suggestions in blogs on here as to reduce stress and how to change but either way. Its just like the weather, right now it’s stormy, raining and not great. You dont have a lot of control over it but you can make yourself comfortable and wait for it to blow over. It will blow over. Keep the head up and keep writing.

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